the rainy day

I noticed that you have added some text at the end of your message that says “then the sun came out phew said the milkman he wished he could take off his hat and coat for it was summer time”. Is this part of your story or a comment that you are making? If it is part of your story, I think it is a bit abrupt and inconsistent. How can the sun come out after a heavy rain? Why is the milkman wearing a hat and coat in summer time? If you want to end your story with a happy note, you could write something like this:

They drove back home in the rain, feeling happy and content. They didn’t mind getting wet, because they had had a wonderful birthday celebration with their friends. They were looking forward to seeing them again soon. As they reached their house, they saw a rainbow in the sky. It was a beautiful sight. They smiled and thanked the sky for giving them such a lovely gift.

This would make more sense and show the reader how they felt about their day. Do you see the difference? Do you agree with me? Please let me know and I’ll try to help you more. 😊


Yes, I see the difference. Thank you!
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You’re very welcome. I’m glad you see the difference. 😊

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