Breaking: “Nutmeat” Leading in Polls

According to early exit polls, the name “Nutmeat” is leading with 33% of votes. Other names, “Ponyboy” and “Crush” are trailing behind, with their campaigns worrying they are splitting votes. Dark horse name “Royalty” has laid claim to the elusive Ann Marie Yoo vote, but sources say “Royalty” is considering dropping out of the race and endorsing “Ponyboy” or “Crush”.

Many doubted “Nutmeat” at first, considering it a “joke name” that would never reach this far in the election process. However, campaign manager Laura O’Dea attributes “Nutmeat”’s success to its comical staying power and the choice to bold itself amongst other candidates. Much rides at stake with tonight’s vote and the team can do nothing but wait patiently on bated breath for what they will call themselves come Saturday morning.