Richard Nixon back from the dead! Shaquille O’Neal dead?

On June 6, 20xx, the world was shocked when the body of former U.S. president Richard Nixon was discovered in a cryogenic chamber in his California home. Nixon had been dead for over three decades, but thanks to modern science, he had been kept alive in a state of suspended animation.

Now, Nixon is awake and back to his old tricks. His first order of business? Getting revenge on Shaquille O’Neal, the NBA legend who famously dunked on him in a game of HORSE back in 1996.

Nixon tracked down O’Neal to a secret location in the Bahamas, where the retired basketball star was living in luxury. O’Neal was caught off guard when Nixon emerged from the shadows, but he was no match for the former president’s agility and strength.

Nixon quickly pounced on O’Neal, sinking his teeth into the basketball star’s flesh. O’Neal screamed in pain as Nixon tore chunks of meat from his body and devoured them. Blood sprayed everywhere, but Nixon didn’t care. He was enjoying the taste of revenge.

O’Neal begged for mercy, but Nixon was unrelenting. He continued to feast on O’Neal’s flesh until the basketball star was nothing more than a bloody pulp. Only then did Nixon finally stop.

The world is in shock as they try to process this news. Nixon is back from the dead and he’s as vicious as ever. What will he do next?