Cooley is convicted of having a large penis

In North Down and Ards court today Mr Cooley(49) was convicted of having a rather large and bulbous penis, evidence given by medical professionals was presented in court to the gasps of the jury,fuck me thats huge said one jury member,my eyes are watering said another. The Prosecutor for Mr Palnoch told the court that his client was seeking damages after seeing Mr cooley’s member in the public toilets, he hasn’t eaten or slept since setting eyes on this mammoth member, the jury convicted Mr Cooley of having an exceptionally large penis however they agreed with the defence that Mr Palnoch was just a jealous big nosed bastard and the compensation claim was thrown out of Court, Mr Cooley walked out a free man, he told the waiting press Mr Palnoch was a prick.