Breaking News: Cherry Capri-Suns Have A Chemical Leak!!

Capri-Suns are loved by many children all around the world. But just yesterday, 10/25/22 it has been noted by Arnold Frank and Ben Carolinian, world wide food testing scientists, that there has been a chemical called “Armonk-go-Celsius”. This hazardous chemical has been secretly put in a batch cherry Capri-Suns by the creators of Capri Suns. Children all around the world are being hospitalized and tested for the serious disease called “Anafluraclis” which causes serious internal bleeding and hives surrounding the body. There are side affects to to this sickness such as bulging of the eyes and in are worse cases, temporary parallelization. We send our payers to those who have had or have currently “Anafluralis” due to this cause.