Marshall Bruce Mathers III, or better known as Eminem or Slim Shady, was found dead after a house party run by him and his team. According to witnesses, Andre Romelle Young (Dr. Dre), a friend of Mathers, was taking shots of tequila when suddenly two masked men burst into the room, carrying AK-47s and shooting up the house. Mathers and Young accordingly ran to a safe room and grabbed weapons to defend themselves. Mathers loaded an M16 assault rifle, and Andre picked up a 12-gauge shotgun. The shooters burst into the safe room, using a diamond-tipped drill. A shootout occurred, and while trying to stop the shooters from taking the house, Andre said his final words: “Westside, Mutha Fucka!!!”. Mathers shot at the intruders but was gunned down. Using the final ounce of power left in him, Mathers shot one of the shooters 5 times to the head, killing him. The second shooter opened fire and finished off The King of Hip-Hop. Earlier today, Detroit Police Commissioner, Jonathan Kregger, revealed that SWAT found the remaining shooter and traced him to a local barber shop, which was a front for many illegal actions, such as smuggling, tax evasion, fraud, possession of cocaine, and prostitution. The shooter, revealed to be popular rapper Colson Baker, was brought to court for 21 counts of murder, 3 counts of attempted murder, public intoxication, public nudity, smuggling, tax evasion, fraud, development, possession, and distribution of cocaine, and prostitution. He is facing up to 230 years in prison. The other shooter was mumble rapper Lil’ Pump. This confirmed Bakers association with the infamous Gucci Gang, also known as The Pimp’s Mafia. Although their leader is dead, the Gucci Gang continues to terrorize America. If you have any information that could lead to members of the gang’s arrest, call 1-800-GUCCIGANG-4042. May Slim Shady and Dr. Dre rest peacefully.
-written by John Doe, PhD. Barology