Gamers worldwide are weeping today at the sudden news of a worldwide gaming ban to begin Monday. California mom of twelve Mary Berry succeeded in persuading the United Nations to enact an emergency worldwide ban on all video games for children under 16 because they are too scary. Mrs. Berry heard her five year old daughter Michael Burnam mention getting killed by a zombie in Minecraft while taming a kitten to add to her collection of pets for the village she built with her friend Bobeh during kindergarten indoor recess. On the hottest day of the year, Berry sabotaged the air conditioning system at the UN HQ and then went to the roof before repelling down and entering the open window of the general assembly meeting room, where UN members were sweating profusely. Berry demanded to speak with the Manager of the World. Then Berry outlined her terms for a worldwide ban on video games for children under 16, saying if they did not accept then she would take away all of their candy and car tires. The ban is on all digital entertainment, even apps for babies like Talking Tom. “It seems harmless but pretending to give a cat a bath while hoping that it giggles at you is a very scary thing”. The ban’s only exception is Candy Crush.