Phosphorus: a lawn’s cyanide?

Is phosphorus good for you lawn? Well recent studies point to NO. Dr. Rockfell of Hamburg university environmental team has conducted multiple studies that prove it will damage your yard. after using it for more 3 months your lawn will start to see patches of dead grass. After 6 months you will complete death of all grass. After 8 months you will see a lot of bugs in your yard. these bugs are called Ground-Nibblers or Scharafius-metoplaurus. They will slowy eat the top most layer of soil. After 12 months the bugs will produce a parasite that infects your brain. this parasite will make you addicted to lawn care. after 18 months a sinkhole will open up destroying the world.