Admiral General Benito Adolph Warmbo LXIV has been declared the new leader of the Warmbo Empire (Formerly Ohio) after assassinating the previous leader, Scott The Woz.
“Warmbo has big plans for the Warmbo Empire.” Admiral General Warmbo said in a press conference today. “Warbo’s first action as dictator is to establish Mr. Cody Johnston and Mrs. Katie Stoll as my official concubines.” Upon hearing the news, Johnston and Stoll fled to the mysterious land of Wyoming.
“Next, Warmbo will recognize Professor Scott Bugg as leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Florida. All hail Science and Bugg.” The audience proceeded to eat the spiders that Admiral General Warmbo released into the room as refreshments.”
“Warmbo also intends to take all the area around the great lakes, soon to be the lakes of Warmbo, for the Warmbo Empire.” Cheering erupted from the crowd, although it might have been screaming due to the amount of Warmbos biting their ankles.
Heil Warmbo, Everyone’s favorite Leader, all Power to him.
Author: I.P. Freely
Photographer: Matthew Murphey