Just a couple of years ago, notorious dance coach Abby Lee Miller was cancelled by Lifetime for making racist comments, some of them aimed at her own students. Since then, several mothers of former students have spoken up about her cruel teaching methods. The number of her students has been dropping rapidly, and her future doesn’t seem bright. However, she is so dedicated to her passion for dance that she has opened enrollment for adults 18 and up, for her new venture where she is giving up the barre for the bar.
The “ALDC” is no longer Abby Lee Dance Company. Starting on April 31st, she will unveil Abby Lap Dance Company in Las Vegas. That’s right, her new “studio” will be a strip club! “This is something Las Vegas needs”, commented Miller. “This won’t be just another sleazy strip club. I have much more to offer. Strippers need technique too.” She goes on to say that customers will be given an experience like they’ve never had before. “I’m going to do more than teach technique. They will learn acrobatics, aerial yoga, and musical theater.”
Not everybody is happy with her newest project. Her students have already started complaining! “She threw a chair at me for not showing enough emotion” said one student, who will be portraying Kim Jong Un telling the story of the Korean War. While it sounds strange, Miller believes the storytelling will have gentlemen fighting to get through the door. “Some of her ideas are strange, but she makes it personal, I will be sharing my own story having a gluten allergy.” This doesn’t mean her new project comes without struggle. Miller has reported that not all of her students are as smart as she would like them to believe. “I blame the parents, stupid raises stupid!” argues Miller.
However, she’s made it clear that she is very passionate about her new project. “These dancers can tell stories that regular dancers can’t”, she remarked. “I want to bring the newspaper headlines to the club” she said, commenting on plans to choreograph current events.
We will keep you updated as… I don’t know, it’s not even 8:00 AM and I haven’t had my coffee. I’m out of ideas. Happy April Fools everyone.