Estelle Parsons Found In Dumpster

Oscar Award Winning Actress Estelle Parsons was found in a dumpster belonging to the renowned Actors Studio, for which she was a lifetime member and once Artistic Director. Police were called to 432 W.44th street in Manhattan around 1am by an anonymous caller saying they saw feet projecting from the poorly lit container. As they approached the scene with flashlights in hand, a brood of rats numbering at least twenty, were seen jumping out of the very dumpster. Peering over the top, the sergeant on the scene said that Ms.Parsons promptly threw a chicken bone and whispered, “Roseanne… Roseanne”. She is currently in stable condition at Bellvue Hospital watching a continuous loop of Citizen Kane.