Welcum frind. We at ASSb ars very sorry for the long gap inbetween our news reports.😔 In this time though, Darregn Shitass has been on the loose, on the prowl, and even more rebid than ever.
A few days ago, It was 19th Draggon’s birthday. 🎂🥳🤩 Copy and Paste! He was especially handsy with the small underage boys on this day, children including Eli Retard, Wyat Curmachk, and Teyvion Gravel. Eli began to get more and more fed up with Daretard’s shit. EVentually, Dang and ELi created a truce. ELi wold go to Comissioner Gordon and turn in Darklops for being a raging pedo, unless Darren never touches Retard again. 🤝 What a lovely world we all live in, am I right, n****s?
Recently, the Phys Educa gang realized how awful Dangle is at sports. He can’t even hit a big ass ba;ll in the air!!😂 Yelling at everyone from Teyvion to Irish☘.
SPEAKING OIF IRIH!!!??!! (boy). Yesterdty was Saint Paddy’s DAy!!!!!!!!!!!! 🇮🇪☘ ☘ ☘ 🇮🇪 Only one thing had gone wrong tough. Classic fatass Darrin was not wearing a single grean on his large round sweaty body😡. This is obviously racialy motivated. Wyatt pinched the hell out of Darkhn, making him mad as usual. After crying and throwing a fit, he admitted to being extremely racist to the ireland people. Now tjhat’s a horrible Partik Henty crime.⛓️⛓️
And now, what you have all bean waiting for. Sources have said that Dander has gotten a raggedy ass haircut between last night anf this moaning. Though no one has actually seen the fresh cut yet, everyone is on the edge of their seats to scope the scene on DArrnolf’s oddly shaped head.👀 I know I can’y wait to see that hair. We all know that it might look someting like Gary Old Man in “Darcula.”
That is all for now my familuy of higb schiol children and darrun.
Courtesy of the Patrick Henry High School ASB