Twizzlers found to carry traces of benzene, beryllium, asbestos, vinyl chloride, and arsenic

According to a study carried out yesterday, the popular candy, Twizzlers, have been found to carry traces of benzene, beryllium, asbestos, vinyl chloride, and arsenic, which are cancer-causing chemicals. This came as a shock to local Glen Rock resident, Gwang-Seop Shim, who had been consuming Twizzlers daily for almost 3 decades. “Is this why I’ve been feeling sick lately?” Gwang-Seop Shim pleaded to the nonchalant CEO’s of the Twizzler company. In a final act of desperation, Gwang-Seop Shim took his last breath and ate a Twizzler. He then proceeded to drop dead in front of the CEO. Investigators are looking into the cause of his death, and are trying to determine whether it was the Twizzler that killed the poor man, or the grim realization of his beloved candy turning sour.