Killer Clowns Spotted in Newry Area

Over the last week there has been numerous reports of ‘killer clowns’ in the Newry, Mourne and Down area. PSNI Newry released a statement earlier today advising people not to leave their houses until further notice and to take all precautions to ensure that your house is safety proofed for intruders. Today we spoke to Miss Grainne Laverty, a policewoman whom has been on the force for 16 years now. She told us that ”Many of the clowns are from crossmaglen and seem to be targeting the Newry”. Could this be due to the many heartbreaks Crossmaglen men have to deal with from Newry women? One of our associates went undercover to find out more about the killer clown group in Crossmaglen. Our associate created a fake Facebook profile pretending to be a 15 year old boy who was ‘into cosplaying a sexy clown named ‘AJ Kerley’ We learned that they are planning to attack two towns tonight, Meigh and Jonesborough. We are yet to discover why they are just specifically targeting these two places but we warn those who live in the area. These clowns are not afraid to break into houses, assault others, commit murder and even arson. We spoke to another Facebook user under the name ‘AaronJamesKerley86’ he claims that it’s not just ‘lads’ dressing up as clowns but so are ‘beurs’ (women). He told us that he knows one of the ‘beurs’ and identified her as Emily Cathey, 13. We contacted Miss Cathey for an interview but she told us she did not want to speak on the situation.