“Reading actually makes you dumber” scientists now say

New studies show that reading is stressful on the brain, and can possibly lead to brain cancer in the far future. “When you are trying to process words and letters in your head, there is a certain “chemical” that becomes active” says an unknown neurologist. This then triggers your brain to start sending harmful signals. What happens if you never read? Well it just means you would live a much longer life, possibly past 100. The downside of this is nothing. Besides the fact that you would fail in school. But then again, the reason they make you read in school is so that you won’t overpower sponge bob.