Turku
Finnish Police announced in a press conference today that they have the acquired new information through a confidant in the cult about its members and location.
The list of members include:
Lauri the PEKKA
Alvar the Mobster
Veikko the Ghost
Alvar the Iron Man
Toivo the Dinosaur
Pink Stella
Mask Alvar
Casual Lauri
Ghoul Gordon
Black Toivo
Wizard Viena
Atso
Rocket Kira
Dino Max
Dino Alvar
Clown Altti
Murderer Emilia
Shrek Veikko
M.I.B Tuomo
Crab Alvar
Red Stella
Spongebob Lauri
Hitler Atso
Big Aarni
Pink Julia
Police have asked anyone who has heard of these cryptic names to contact police immediately.
Police have also announced they believe Alvar and his cult have been hiding in his house. Finnish Police admitted they “forgot to check there because they assumed the cult would be somewhere more fancy and villany”.