People of The United States of America,
Today, August 27, at 2:38 PM something was seen crawling from area 51.
It was described as a blueish, green creature, with a large head and very small frame. Along with this, a picture was taken at 7:42 PM last night in Tokyo, Japan, and we have not yet been able to identify it. We cannot post this picture here for privacy reasons.
This may be an invasion. Starting on the 28th, Our SWAT teams will be on the lookout.
We strongly advise you to stay INSIDE of your homes and lock all of your doors. Keep your children safe.
Good luck,
Joe Biden