While taking an early morning walk with previous band member Harry Styles (A.K.A “Golden Boy”), a “fan” allegedly walked up to them and pretended to stab him with a pencil. After quickly running away, Harold (A.K.A “Golden Boy”, also now branded as “Surviving Styles” by the media) noticed that they’d been chased straight into an alley, filled with multiple winged young people with Lil Nas X x Nike™ demon shoes and Bebe Rexha unofficial fan merch with the tags still attached, and smelling like a nearby Wahlburgers restaurant. They attempted to drag Harry into a large dumpster filled with an abnormal amount of discarded trash from other dumpsters from multiple trash cans, but Niall bravely stepped in and told them to “Nevah toch his broter” and “Take him first” in his iconic Irish™ accent. They proceeded to smoothly and successfully throw him into the dumpster while recording and chanting, “RELEASE THE ALBUM! RELEASE A COLLABORATION WITH H.S! RELEASE THE BEAST!”. Unfortunately, Niall refused, saying he should never be pressured into making music, to which they responded by lighting the deep, inky midnight sky up with a blazing fire. With the fire, they called a plane down and ran away (with Harry), which caused Niall to be arrested for a false unofficial help signal.
On February 29th, 2022, Niall sadly passed away in a McDonalds after being attacked by a chicken that hadn’t been fully cooked. Today, on August 3rd, 1993, Liam Payne (A.K.A Strip That Down For Me Guy, Unofficial Justin Timberlake Replacement) and K.J Apa (Newest member of One Direction, A.K.A FiFi) posted this depressing Instagram image and dedicated their lives to Niall Horan, pledging to start the first legalized cult in his honor and sacrifice every chicken on the planet. In 1674, Pompeii erupted.