BRITTNEY SPEARS HAS BEEN CONVICTED OF MURDERING HER FATHER

Brittney spears, the music sensation that has inspired millions, has killed her father as an attempt to escape her home and get her life back. “I just want my life back, I’m tired of having to do the same things every day and not being able to do anything.” Her court date later this month has been replaced with this murder trial. Her sister Jamie, has told us “im scared owo” and “she’s just toxic uwu, like her song” Jamie then proceeded to sing the entirety of the song toxic. We are beginning to think she is more mentally unstable than her sister, or she was the one who has done the murder in the first place. Police also say the evidence points to Jamie being the culprit, seeing that her finger prints are on the knife that was used to brutally cut James head off. His fingers, were removed and placed inside hotdogs buns. BUT, that was only half of them, the rest of them were mixed in with “beanie weenies°”. Our journalers threw up all over James body from the gory site, and have been arrested for tampering with evidence. For some weird reason, the police think they were hired by Jamie. We think the police didn’t actually pay attention to the body because they did not throw up. Brittney’s court case might be interesting considering she is going to France, and does NOT speak French. Little does she know, French people despise her. This might be because of her recent post where she said “wee wee im French and I have to pee” we pray that her court will go over well. Check weekly for updates.
-Miranda Cosgrove, journalist