BREAKING: JOE BIDEN found DEAD in his Wilmington DELAWARE MANSION

Even though Biden’s rough n’ tough lizard-like skin is not as shiny as it once was, the glow of the Obama era still shines deeply within his eyes. This glow is, of course, not enough to distract us from the ever-increasing signs of dementia this man exhibits on the daily.

But it was neither Joe’s longstanding battle with dementia or his habit of cornering little girls just so he can whisper sweet little nothings in their ears that killed him.

It was the lobotomy.

When good ol’ Dementia Joe showed trouble completing sentences, the Democratic establishment decided they couldn’t take any more risks (i.e. letting him have control over his own stream of consciousness). After he tweeted “Beans. Dry beans. Soak em up in water, add the cumin. God bless the troops and boats on the lakes, can’t get enough of them,” the Dems knew they had to act now and act fast. Of course, Bernie Sanders was not an option, because sociawism iws bawad!!!