Miranda Cooper Brutally Murdered by Southern Family

The family from sweet home Alabama was on their way home from Sunday church when they saw Miranda Cooper on the side of the road making out with a 14 year old, because they are her type. The family, being the Southerners that they are, were craving some fried chicken and mistake Cooper for a stack of chicken wings because of her appearance resembling the aforementioned. So they got out of their old minivan and began to literally eat Miranda alive. They did not realize they were eating a human until the son of the family bit into her singular painted nail at the end of one of her nubbiest and was like “Hey, this doesn’t take like Bojangles!”. And so then the family spit her dismembered chicken wing body out and carried on with their lovely Sunday morning drive.