Hancock has Fallen on his Nuts!

It was a tragedy.. Last night, Hancock was found lying dead with foam in his mouth. It was assumed that he died from poisoning, but officials state that when they checked his body they found his testicles squished flat. The last place Hancock sat before he died was on his chair, looking at pictures of naked squirrels. Rumors have it that God moved his nuts under his buttocks right before he sat down. They say it was, “The Revenge of the Fallen Sperm”. Of course, there is no way to prove this. So instead we have to just have faith that he didn’t die in pain.