New Species Of Crawling “Dog” Sloth Discovered: Living Secretly As Household Pet?!

When 23 year old Biology student Jesus Escobar first saw his mother’s pet Chiquis( Chee-keys) for the first time, he immediately suspected something suspicious about this 14 month old Shih-Tzu. He told reporters,” I couldn’t believe she was a dog. She has such bizarre undoglike qualities and features. She has long claws. She’s lazy. She wraps her arms around people. Chiquis is like a weird alien Chihuahua thing and no one else sees it.” Escobar contacted local sources with the El Paso Zoological society at which point he provided DNA samples of the dog. Over a course of five months, scientists have been working to analyze these hair samples and fecal matter and the results were astonishing. Dr. Jose Maldonado, a geneticist working closely on the examination has concluded that Chiquis shares a similar genetic makeup to that of xenarthan mammals, in other words sloths. More research is being conducted before fully stepping forward with this exciting bit of zoological news. We here at Channel 46 News will follow the story closely as it progresses.