Roxanne Richer named new CEO of Gucci

Information concerning Nerys Poorer and Roxanne Richer has been leaked by an anonymous Gucci (pronounced ‘Goo-key’) personnel. The employee stated in a social media post on a profile called ‘Gucci Secrets Official’ that the CEO, Nerys Poorer, has stepped down due to being, well, ‘poorer’. Apparently, the businesswoman revealed in a meeting that her lack of wealth was not good enough for her, so she was going to study the recently added Business course, ‘How To Get Super Mega Rich’ at Yale in order to, well, get ‘super mega rich’ and become, to quote, “less insecure about her measly $21 billion net worth.”

According to the post, the company will go to her vastly wealthier friend, Roxanne Richer, whose net worth is unknown due to the fact it would take, according to a source close to Richer, ‘twelve lifetimes to count all her money there’s just so much of it.’

Roxanne Richer responded and confirmed the post, saying, ‘It has come to my attention that there are rumours circulating about my great friend Nerys Poorer’s company, Gucci. I’d like to put those rumours to rest. I am very much the new Chief Executive Officer of Gucci, and I’m so proud Ms Poorer singled me out to be her successor. I promise to do my absolute best for the company, and I can only hope that it becomes just as successful as my 998,736,987 other businesses. I’m so rich I’ll be able to raise the standards (and prices!) of Gucci, and I promise it’ll flourish under my leadership. I hope Nerys has a nice time going back to school, and remember hun, I’M RICHER.
Love and peace to everyone!
Stay safe. ❤️
-R Xx’

Nerys Poorer also confirmed the information leaked by the ‘Gucci Secrets’ account saying that the information was ‘unfortunately correct’. She said that she hoped she ‘would be able to announce the news in a different way’, but now that it had come to light, she thought there was ‘nothing to do but confirm the news.’

Nerys Poorer will begin her studies in three weeks, according to her latest Instagram post, and we’ll keep you updated on all the changes that happen once Roxanne Richer takes over Gucci. Bookmark this page for weekly updates on the situation.

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