Claytard Seen Eating Trump Ballots

Unbelievable. Claytard has been seen on video eating ballots for Donald J. Trump on November 3rd 2020. When Claytard was confronted with this, he said “I thought the box was a trash bin because of all the sh*t in it.” When we reached out to Mr. Trump’s office, they said he was unavailable for comment. Claytard should be arrested, but nobody wants to touch him or get close to him, so too bad for us. President Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. denies any involvement, saying “Why would I want to see, much less interact with Claytard? It just makes no sense.” The FBI is going to conduct a COVID-19 safe investigation x100,000, because nobody will go within 600,000 feet of Claytard. Channel 46 remains unsure how many ballots Claytard ate and if it impacted the results of the election. But the bigger question is how many more people ate ballots.