Trump has recently, on Saturday February 13, come out as gay. He first officially recorded a TikTok, using his wife, Melania’s account @myhusbandsprezzident420, and wearing a purple shirt, and to his fans’ surprise, picked out in glittery orange text were the words “Worlds Best Gay Prez xoxo Trump”. The world was shocked to find that Donald Trump’s opinion of himself was so high, as he was, quote unquote, “The Worlds Smartest, Bestest, Most Amazingest President The World Has Ever Seen.”
In the TikTok, he admitted to his wife, now ex-wife, that he had attempted 69 on one of his bodyguards, intimidating the poor man into quitting his job. Traumatised, the bodyguard Trevor Kingsley reported “Trump called me into his room, he was sitting in bed and asked me to join him. As i cannot disobey the president, i sat down next to him. He began to explain that he wanted to fuck with me, as long as i didn’t tell anyone. Confused, I said “yes” wanting to know what Trump would do to me. I cannot elaborate further, as it is an invasion of the now ex-president’s privacy. I have resigned from my job; and filed a restraining order against Donald. I hope i never see that horrible man again.”
Sex allegations from other men began pouring out soon after the bodyguard released this news. Melania, Donald’s ex wife, in a rage, reported that “He had nothing to offer but money! I married him because of his money and fame! I don’t care if the world calls me gold-digger, He is a repulsive man and i wish to never see him again!” and repeatedly began stomping her feet and shouting out “Oh, Biden, come save me! I would wish to have sexual intercourse with you!”