PALO ALTO, CA – Many cases of an unknown sickness were reported today in an incident that has shocked the nation’s scientific community. Scientists are baffled, fearing a new phenomenon temporarily dubbed an “anti-cluster”. By all appearances, employees working remotely for a Silicon Valley tech giant fell ill by, strangely enough, not attending a free online company concert.
“At first my colleagues didn’t know what to think”, said Doctor Pesley-Harrison of Johns Hopkins. “But then we were are, like, why didn’t those guys just go to the concert?”
Time will tell as to the fate of this grave new affliction. In the meantime, Channel 64 News suggests going to the concert. Stay OG.