Kris Jenner brutally attacks rapper Eminem with solid gold shovel

Last Wednesday, Kris Jenner was spotted outside of an Arby’s, brutally beating Eminem with her solid gold shovel, which was gifted to her by her mother, Mary Joe. A witness commented that it was “nothing like I’ve ever seen before.” It was reported that the rapper got the last smokehouse brisket sandwich, which is Kris’s favorite meal to eat while she’s high on cocaine. Ironically, Eminem offered her a bag of skittles, but Kris declines the offer. Another bystander told a reported he saw “fire in her eyes”. Kris is currently on house arrest, while Eminem is in critical condition.