11 year-old Huntley IL girl, Gabriela Pharis, found dead at McDonald’s

11 year-old Huntley girl, Gabriela Pharis, was found dead in a booth at a candy shoppe. Security footage was seen, but there was no suspesion of any kind. Three doctors later performed an autopsy and she was diagnosed with a severe form of vitamin loss. Her home was searched, and they found brownies, cookies, and luchables littering the pantry. Her family’s request to donate her to science was denied due to a far too abnormal amount of nuclear energy, which was found in the lunchables. She is to be buried at 12 pm on Saturday, in a nuclear energy sanctuary. Therfore she can’t infect other corpses or plants, leading to a global pandemic. We are unfortunately not sympathetic to her friends and family, since they may be exposed to the same nuclear energy. Stay tuned for further updates.